Lazarus' radio segments (DXHR)

Lazarus' radio segments can be heard on radios throughout the world in 2027. They are hosted by Lazarus, a conspiracy theorist who greatly opposes the actions of the Illuminati. The segments deal with various current events such as malfunctioning biochips, anti-augmentation riots, and the Panchaea project.

The transcripts of the various segments heard on the Sarif Industries website and in Deus Ex: Human Revolution can be found below.

LAZ_001
''Attention gullible, self-involved, web-surfing fuck-knobs. This website has been pre empted for an important fucking news broadcast. I know what you're thinking: "Uhh what's this voice I'm hearing? Uhh who the fuck is talking?" Well, it's the unscheduled, unendorsed, undeniable truth talking! And whether you know it or not, the truth is what you've been seeking all your miserable Picus-watching lives.''

''Now, if you've browsed round this website, you might be under the impression that Sarif Industries is a company making an honest attempt to improve our lifestyles, help out wounded vets, and ultimately make our oh-so difficult way of life easier. You'll never again have to suffer the inconsolable horror of losing your cellphone because you can now have one implanted in your arm! You're on this sight right now, perhaps asking yourself the question: "Will a robot arm enhance my life? Would I see better with a mechanical sensor in my eye, and if I get one, is it morally responsible of me?" Well let me give you the answers right now, truth seekers. The answer is: run for your fuckin' lives man! If you can't see the signs on this one, you may need to check into corporate propaganda rehab. But fear not seekers, that's why I've hijacked this Sarif-slave-state.com here. That's right, thanks to my head hacker homeboy Steve over here, I'm taking on the corporate techno tyrant himself; David Sarif right in his own crib.''

''Yeah, YOU Davey boy, I'm calling you out. See, I look at this site and I don't see a techno paradise at our fingertips. You may see a future with happy, smiley amputees living a full life, I see our babies with chips in their eyeballs. You see sunshine and green grass, I see darkness and a police state run by super-soldiers. You see human enhancement, I see chains, shackles, cell doors, fire and fucking brimstone. Yes, the future is looking mighty grim my friends. If you want the truth keep clicking onto this website every week. Yeah they'll try to shake us but they don't know that Steve can not only ingest more hot dogs per minute than any known human but he's also the greatest hacker in all of cyberspace. You can bet these corporate tyrants have no idea what kind of genius they are dealing with now. Mustard stains on his shirt and all, I like to call him Colonel Moutard. You got some on your moustache Steve. Yeah, yeah right there. Stay tuned seekers.''

LAZ_002
''This just in: David Sarif has no soul. Not exactly breaking news, right? Well, here's some shit you may not known. Sarif may be a corporate slime-ball and a minor league deskbot waiting for the call-up, but he's no dummy. He knows he's not gonna make crazy loot on the mechanical prosthetics biz marketing towards popstar wannabes and one time high school quarterbacks in midlife crises. No sir, he's gonna do what all shameless self-serving dishonest scientists and engineers do: go straight to the military and sell out the future of humanity for the prettiest, blood-soakiest penny.''

''They started years ago with Project Phoenix, the basic idea of which, for those who don't know, was lets take these soldiers who've been maimed in one of the many oil wars we've been waging over the past two decades; basically refit them with a new mechanical arm or leg or whatever they lost on the merciless, living hell of a battlefield, and then, do what with them? SEND THEM BACK TO THE FRONTLINES, LIKE A REFURBISHED FUCKING CAR! Are you kidding me America?! Am I the only one who sees the sickness in all this? Apparently, literally giving your right arms to serve your country is not enough to get a little vacation, nahah. And noooo David Sarif didn't stop there seekers. '

''It didn't take long for him to lock down a top secret, no bib contract with the CIA to start producing intelligence-enhancing chips for agents to plug into their brains. Boy am I gonna miss the days  when Federal agents would ransack your house without a warrant, pull out your nails with pryers for information, and violate every civil right in the known universe. It won't be long before all they have to do is flick a switch with the blink of an eye and read your freaking mind. I just can't wait. See seekers, these are two of the most coveted military slash intelligence contracts of all time and Sarif Industries has them both!''

''Theres no money in peace, we all know that. Now we got wars in the Middle East, secessionist groups springing up all over the US of A and a Chinese empire that's growing faster than the presidents hubris. Think of the opportunity. Lots of wars means lots of soldiers. Soon we'll have truckloads of limbless soldiers coming back, waiting to get touched up, polished, overhauled, gussed up, renovated, refreshed, rehashed, revamped and shipped back the hell out! Steve, get me a camomile tea, pronto; and we're out seekers. Drop by again next week for some more unauthorized, online truth.''

LAZ_003
(singing) ''Oh, I really like the background music on the website, yeah no feelings of doom with this soundtrack choice. Seriously, I almost committed suicide before I clicked on the second link. It's like they're inadvertently letting us know: you're all cockroach-worshipping apocalyptic toast if you actually let this technology flourish. Who are the marketing geniuses behind this one? Honestly, can you get more creepy than this site? Hey team, how about we put an outstretched robot palm holding a mechanical eye on the main page? Make it feel like it's hovering a bit to give it that ghostly, human enslaving evil robot feeling. That'll get people interested in our product. They'll be like "shit, I've always wanted to hold my own eyeball in my palm. How can I learn more?" Drop the post apocalyptic anthem!''

''The real joke is that you are actually buying all this. You actually believe that augmentations are going to open the doors for a more prosperous future. Come on people! Why do you hate who you are so much that you think mutilating yourself is okay? Don't you understand that the real beauty of we as a people is our biological essence? How we develop the organic materials that we were tooled with. That's why we love the Olympics and ban illegal substances. That's why the guy with 800 career home runs is NOT in the hall of fame. Because juicing up and souping up tarnishes who we are as human beings. You know what real beauty is, people? Beauty is when we push ourselves to the limits with what we were given on the day we came screaming out of the holiest of holies; not coming on this website, typing in your credit card number so you can become a fucking transforming robot.''

''I knew this was coming though. I warned you when that Teesdale douche sued the government so that he could have his perfectly healthy limbs replaced with augmentations so he could get some work lifting crates. I warned you when that game show contestant used a brain enhancement chip to cheat his way to victory on international television. There is no limit to what people will do to show up their neighbour and satisfy their insatiable greed. We've seen this movie before seekers, we know where this will lead. Hit me with Doomsday sonata no. 5. I think I'm gonna have DJ Steve blast the music again on the studio speakers so I won't forget what we're up against. (singing) Whoa, all the way up to eleven on the dial Steve. See you next week truth seekers.''

LAZ_004
''I have something to admit to you, truth seekers. You all know I'm not one for following agendas or taking orders from anyone. I usually trust by bile and pizza filled swillvat I call a gut. That's why I'm forced to make a confession to you all. Steve, as demonically brilliant as he might be, was not solely responsible for hacking into this site. Purity First, the anti human enhancement group who've made a name for themselves by staging violent protests against LIMB clinics around the world, were the ones who originally supplied us with the codes, provided we make sure we spouted elements of their agenda forward.''

''Now at first, I had no problem with that. I respect their cause. We agreed on some fundamental issues like augs are bad for this world, and that butchering our bodies for the sake of trying to achieve a form of superhuman aesthetic was only going to lead us to one place: Apocalypse County. All good right? Well, the more I started researching my friendly little sidekicks, the more I started asking questions. Sure they seemed like an honest, insurrectionist group looking to overthrow this evil regime, but where were they getting their guns? I mean lets be honest, the soldiers in Purity First don't exactly look like they've been born with a silver spoon. Their ranks are mostly made up of street kids and orphans turned rebels. Someone must be lining their pockets, and what I found was, well truth seekers, weirdness. I'm talking deep-throat, Woodward and Bernstein type weirdness. I can't name names right now truth seekers because I don't want Steve to get picked off on his home from work today. But lets just say that in Purity First, we may be dealing with a power more dangerous than David Sarif himself! Talk about calling the kettle black, Purity Last is more like it! But this just shows that we're living in a world more volatile than its ever been. The liars lurk in the shadows, and we gotta be careful the truth doesn't get blurred in all this talk of 'moral purity'. I think I even got duped on this one, truth seekers. But don't worry, we still got plenty of hack codes to go around so we'll definitely be back on this site next week. Don't forget to log on.''

LAZ_005
''So its official people; we've received our first string of death threats over here at the studio. Let me make it clear that I am not shocked, I expected this. Whether it's Purity First's cronies because of how I investigated and exposed them last week, or Sarif Industries' security squad who must be so teeth-grindingly frustrated that they can't shake us of their site, someone just had to resort to the predictable private caller routine. But I swear to all you truth seekers out there, threats won't stop us from talking about how these evil biotech cores and their Illuminazi scientists are preparing to wage war on us. Or if it's these Purity First fucknuts who think a good reason to oppose human enhancement is because "God's gonna fire a thunderbolt into each one of our mechanically altered asses!" But hey, I get it. We got a full head a steam arms race right now. Ah screw it, it's an arms AND legs race, and Sarif Industries is right at the centre of it. They've got their lobbyists in Washington and their shareholders on Wall Street making sure they get the political AND investment might to create a state of perpetual war. And of course, Purity First and their nameless backers are going to have to match that build-up through organized crime backed by some faceless but oh-so powerful men.''

''The mass enslavement alert chart as gone from orange to blood freaking red. How long before the technological dominance of those on either side of the moral fence leads to a police state? Not long. You know how I know? Because as my covert sources living deep inside the darkest dungeons of the worlds most elite power cults tell me, the men behind Purity First are all just major frontmen for bringing around the Illuminati's evil plans for a New World Order and they know I know it! Why do you think I'm getting phone calls every hour? (knocking) What was that Steve? (muffled shouting) Shit Steve, sshh. (muffled shouting) We got a problem seekers, we've gotta go right now before - (breaking glass) (static)

Biotech workers
''I want to talk to the people who work on the floors of the manufacturing plants of these biotech corps. Listen, I don't blame you. I don't hate you because you work at Isolay or Sarif Industries or whatever the fuck inc. I know they don't tell you anything. You don't know anything. How are you supposed to know that this uncontrolled technology will be the death of us all? Nobody is asking your opinion on how these augs should be priced. David Sarif is not walking around the plant asking employees whether they should drop the prices so that the poor people of this world can have a fair shot. The LIMB clinic drug pushers aren't asking Joe and Bob in the knob polishing department whether they should find an alternative cure for transplant rejections or just keep pumping Neuropozyne into these hopeless bastards.''

''My point is followers, don't stand outsides of biotech plants and start stoning the workers. Why? Because they are no different from you. You have been manipulated as much as they have. Lets band together and lunge straight for the top: the ILLUMINATI followers, the Council of Five, the Bilderbergs! THESE are the criminals. Problem is, we gotta find them first.''

Military claymore
''It's simple. These biotech corporations are not here to serve you. They're not manufacturing cyber legs for you to be able to run to the bus stop faster. They're not making mechanical limbs for a veteran who sacrificed his body in one of those past half centuries bullshit wars. They're progressing this technology for one thing and one thing only: the military industrial complex. Hold on, we're getting a live stream from Eisenhower's grave right now, let me listen in. Sounds like, yep, sounds like someone rolling over!''

''As you all know I have contacts inside these corporations; contacts who actually work on the floors. I like to call them the plant plants. They like to get the goods for me. They've been telling me about this race between various firms over who will be the first to make the ultimate claymore and sell it off to the military. These claymores are weapons of mass destruction beyond anything you've ever seen. And the competition to construct the blueprint is cutthroat to put it mildly. Could this be what these raids at Sarif have been all about? Hmm, think followers, THINK! IS THAT ASKING TOO MUCH?''

Zhao and Sarif
''Should David Sarif be wary of China? Interesting question. My instant reaction is of course he should. Everyone should be wary of China. They've been moving in on everything American in the past 25 years. Especially since that Dragon Queen Zhao took over TYM.''

''I feel weird even talking about this because when its all said and done, both Sarif and Zhao are cut from the same cloth and that cloth is a bloodsoaked one, people. Not only because they're both CEO's who profit off people carving themselves up and attaching mechanical toys to their bodies; but because they both answer to our overlords, or Orderlords as I like to call them. Hey look, at the end of the day one of these two biotech corporations will have a monopoly over the industry and we all know, whoever controls the technology controls the world. So take a pick of your poison, followers.''

Viral infections
''Accept it followers: AIDS is on the rise and there is nothing we can do about it. You know why there's nothing we can do about it? Because we're not doctors or scientists and the scientists and doctors who are supposed to be finding a cure are doing jack smack shit. Tell me something, how can medicinal technology and knowledge make huge leaps but the diseases these technologies are supposed to be fighting are getting worse? How does that make any sense?''

''AIDS isn't the only virus making a comeback; tuberculosis is back in the game too. India today reported a 32% increase in tuberculosis deaths last year. This is an insane stat! See the one thing people can't explain is why the antibiotics aren't working like they used to. So the disease is stronger but the antibiotics are weaker? Something's up here followers; this is where the Illuminati killing machine does their best work: with plagues. Lets just hope that this is just a wave and not a prelude to the depopulation plan shifting into full gear.''

UN resolution
''This UN resolution everyone's talking about, this resolution contains the same fundamental core as any slavery doctrine: take away the people's right to choose. Like when those commie Canadians nationalised the royals. Same shit, different state.''

''Wait, let me take that back about the Canuckers; they did take in our poor and outcast and ostracized when they were shunned by their own government, plus Steve over there is one and he's giving me the look of death! Hey it's still up for debate whether most people would like to live in a filthy FEMA camp or Toronto, but I digress.''

''Hey listen, you could always go to Mexico or as I like to call it Quinta Potemkin cause we all know the Russian mob run that battleship. I'll tell you people, this is what you call destabilization. Ever hear the term? I know you have because I've been spitting that lyric for 17 years now! They want to destabilise this planet so you have nowhere else to look to but your own Big Daddy, the World Order. They would love nothing more than to watch you beg for help; "Oh please Big Daddy World Order, save me from my neighbours, and from my boss, and from my debt, and my environment, and my own goddamn children!".''

''Are you ready to beg followers? Didn't think so.''

Replacement biochips
''Check this out; mind blowing question I have for you followers: who's paying for these replacement chips the augs are being given at LIMB clinics across the world right now? I have a hard time believing the biotech thieves are reproducing all these chips and just giving them out at their expense. Since when have corporations acted accountable for their mistakes?! We're talking about millions of chips here!''

There's gotta be some outside funding here, and that outside funding can only come from one place: Illuminati'', followers. Why? This is their chance! Start inserting these chips inside of you so that they'll be able to track your every move via satellite. DO THE MATH EUCLID! This has ALWAYS been a crucial element of the execution of the master plan, and now the master plan is fuckin' upon us. This one couldn't be laid out and simpler for you followers!''

Panchaea
''Let me put this to you plain and simple, followers: Panchaea will never work; if Panchaea actually does one god-damnedest little thing to stop global warming, I will personally launch myself into the San Andreas fault. It's not gonna work followers; why the hell would it? Hugh Darrow would be the biggest moron on the planet if he made this geoengineering plan achieve any kind of success. Why would you want to put an end to something that's making you millions?''

''VersaLife, Ravacore; the Gore Institute, all shovelling truckloads into stopping climate change. Why in guyes name would anyone want to stop the biggest fraud in the history of cash grabbing? Sixty plus years and people haven't realized that these self righteous environmentalists are nothing but a bunch of green tyrants. Green let's do everything green. Remember that one followers? You know who's got the green right now? HUGH FREAKIN' DARROW, that's who!''

The Glitch
''We're talking about bullshit, people. Bollocks, if you're in London, merde if you're in Paris, skatá if you're in Athens, poopoopingpong if you're in fucking Beijing. It's all the same everywhere in the world. Let me keep you up on the latest pile of turd that's breaking news as of right now. Now this one is so fresh, it's still steaming followers. It's so intense you can't escape it, so, my apology if the stench leaks through the goddamn internet and into your homes. That's how fowl this one is folks.''

''My homegirl Eliza tells us there's a glitch. Yes sir, you heard me right, a glitch. If you're one of the fortunate one twenty fifth of the population who can afford an augmentation, I'm sorry to break it to you but you've got a glitch. And they want you to report, that's right, REPORT to your local LIMB clinic and get it fixed, huhuhahaha WHOA, FOLLOWERS, this is a jam in-fucking-deed. And, AND not only do they want you to report to a LIMB clinic near you but, yep, you guessed it - they want to refit you with a brand spanking new one. Well good luck augies. Might as well pick up your ball and chain too while your there. Unbelievable.''

Augmentation restrictions
''We're talking augmentations and how by not allowing us to have them they are essentially striping our ability to defend ourselves away from us. Now followers, don't stream me now and start saying "but Lazarus, augmentations are legal. Why my cousins Tudy just got one the other day". Not for long fuckknob; not if this UN resolution goes through. Not with the Bilderbergs, the Council of Five and the Trilateral Commission making the rules.''

''You can add Humanity Front to that list because they're the ones - with their evil overlord Bill Taggart who disguises himself as a healer of the sick - they're the ones who are pushing for this resolution. This is all by design followers. They're gonna drop a police state on your ass faster than you can say fuckin', I don't know, Neuropozyne.''

But I digress.

Panchaea and weather machines
''Let me break this down for you followers. On one hand you have Panchaea in the Arctic, which on the surface is designed to stop global warming, and on the other hand you have these weather machines out in Alaska that are firing millions of watts into our stratosphere and causing mass destruction across the globe.''

''Now, followers, do I have to spell this one out for you? You DO see how one serves the other, right? The more tsunamis, earthquakes and hurricanes that are created by these man made weather machines, the greater need for visionaries like Darrow to come out of thin air and say "I'm here to save the world, I just need more money". MORE MONEY. I've always told ya followers, just follow the money. This time the money is in the entire west coast collapsing into the Pacific. Not to mention hitting a home run for the Council of Five's depopulation plan. They've been talking about this one for years, so instead of waiting for it to happen, they'll just make it happen. This is how things go down in the world these days followers.''

Contacting Lazarus
''I'm tryna remind people that the only way they can get in touch with me is by online interactive streaming. We'll stream you through and answer your questions as best we can but don't get your panties in a bunch if you get hung up on. If we detect even the slightest suspicious fluctuation in signal, we have to shut you down. The World Order and their team of expert hackers could be tryna track us. And that's why we have to create a covert host site for every new stream and then shut it down immediately once the call's over.''

''I'm sitting here, just me and my techie Steve in a sweaty, clammy, claustrophobic van tossing digipads out in the trash left and right in order to bring you this show via satellite. But, I'm good with it. I'm good with it because I understand the reality of living in a slave state. You can bet they'll keep trying to shut us down but I won't stop followers, I will not stop until there is a full-scale revolt in progress. YOU HEAR WHAT I'M SAYIN' PEOPLE? You okay Steve? Good.''

FEMA camps
''I just got off the phone with a mother from Florida who confirmed what most of us already know, but I wanna share it with you anyway. They're doing drills, followers. FEMA is doing drills with our children and not even telling us. They're taking our kids to these secret camps that have been springing up everywhere across the country and not even telling the parents. ''

''But what are these drills for? Well, they're to introduce them to the future. REX-84 is the future. The ADEX list is the future. They're saying: "Here you go children, this is what happens when you speak up against corruption, Teddy. This is what you get for demanding the truth, Georgie. This is what happens when you don't lie down and take it in the ass from the International Banking Cartel, Tracy. And you don't follow the biased doctrine of Picus and their slut-puppet Eliza Cassan, Billy. That's right Billy you gullible little bastard. You will be put in a camp for an indeterminate amount of time, Billy." Get comfy kids.''

Separatist terrorists
''The topic du jour is separatist terrorists. Listen, I have no love for the secesh but lets raise some real tangible truth here followers. This is not about the separatist movement, give me a break. California is the reason we have augmented super-soldiers roaming the streets? Utah is the reason FEMA could drop you in a concentration camp any time they feel like? Have you so quickly forgotten, they did this in the Cold War to protect you from the Commies. Then after 9/11 to protect your ass from the phantasm Bin Laden. Remember that guy? So now what? To protect you from the Mormons? Ha! These are fear tactics! Plain and simple, they want you to be afraid of your neighbours. Another false flag in a long line of false flags that have been thrown up since World War I when the banks, government and military production industry realized "We can make truckloads of money off this war shit. How can we make some more?" Come on people, wake up.''

Future world
''We're talking about consequence here, parents. Go ahead and plomp your kids in front of the TV. Let them watch Picus or let them get lost in their video games, yeah, they'll be safe in their little virtual world. Don't worry kids, Nobody can hurt you in a video game. Focus on that little fantasy universe because let me tell you something, you won't want to come out of your virtual cell and see the real world in a couple of years. Nahah, it won't be pretty. You'll still be slaves like the rest of us, but at least you'll be oblivious. Bunch of mindless zombies is what you are; I almost envy you. Fuckin' sad is what it is.''

Zhao's interview with Cassan
''We're talking about Eliza Cassan's frank interview with Zhao Yun Ru. "Frank". What a fuckin' farce, eh Steve? Picus should have advertised it like this: "The worlds greatest corporate tramps square off in a massively titillating battle to see who can satisfy the sick fantasies of the World Order better."''

''Let me be clear on my opinion of Cassan. In spite of how hot the 18 to 35 male demographic may think she is, she should be destroyed. It's not a coincidence she's a piece of ass. It's just another way they get you. "Oh Eliza, you're so hot. Whisper some more sweet nothings in my ear." Listen, I've put in a request to have Eliza sit down with me so I can ask her who's really behind the curtain over at Picus. Yeah right. That's like asking the Pope to ride a float at the gay pride parade. Listen followers, 95% of what you see on the TV is either a flat out lie or a blatant attempt to keep you distracted. These aren't new ideas but for some reason you people just haven't got the message yet. Let's work on this kids. ''

Lazarus faking his death
''I want you to know folks that I've seen these signs before. The plot is thickening, followers. You can cut the tension with a LIMB clinic surgeons knife. This is not my first walk around the block. When the oil crash of 2015 happened, I was the first one to call for an overthrow, and what did they do? They tried to KILL me for it. I had to fake my death and go on the run for two and a half years before I could come back to you. But, this was a good time people. Believe it or not, I got to see China, Australia, Africa, Israel. I got to see where the real centres of conflict are. I got to meet people who knew their shit and have now become my contacts in those Illuminati-heavy hotspots.''

''Now in 2027, I feel the same way I did right before 2015. That's why I'm talking about raising the truth and resurrecting freedom. Because it seems we've forgotten. But we're back followers, and better equipped, and I will the fight ain't dying any time soon, and either is good old Laz', right Steve? Argh, that's it, that's my pep talk for today.''

Anti super-soldier riots
''I want to be clear on something. Contrary to what you people think I might think, these riots are not good for the revolution. This is exactly what they want. Show intent to revolt, display appension for anarchy. It just gives the government and their army of super-soldiers a reason to crack down! So people of Detroit, Rio, Toronto, Sydney, you've shown you're not gonna sit around while the forces of evil here on Earth amass an army to destroy us, and that's good. But now, its time to chill the fuck out. If we want to overthrow this World Order, we need to be smart about it. We need to be patient and surgical in our takeover; because God knows they are.''

Creation of anti-terrorist agency
''I don't usually do any prophesising or shit like that. I mean, I don't sit here in the back of this busted up van I call a studio and pretend like I'm some sort of sage or some shit. But sometimes, sometimes these World Order jack-offs, they just make it way too easy. This separatist stuff for example. How much you wanna wager with your young man Laz' that in a few years time you're gonna see a major terrorist attack on our own soil by some Mormon with a bomb strapped to their fuckin' temple under garments? THEN they're gonna create some new protection agency designed to save us from the evil, murdering Secesh Mormons! Oh, my apologies to any Mormon listeners out there but I'm just tryna articulate how these tyrannical fucks are gonna try to DEMONIZE you. THEN once they're done that successfully, they'll start slowly chipping away at our rights to freedoms, and in the name of what? To save us from our fuckin' SELVES! It doesn't take a genius to figure this scheme out followers.''

Augmentation debate
''Listen, don't stream me and start bitching about aug versus nat and all that crap. I don't give a shit whether you wanna walk around looking like a fuckin' cyborg or whether you wanna walk around butt naked, as Adam in all his glory. It doesn't matter. What matters is what they want, and what they want is, they want both. You know why they want both? So you can waste your time bickering about it! Even worse, they want you to go to war about it. They want you to say: "Whoa, whoa, this aug versus nat shit is getting out of control, don't you think Ambassador? Don't you think we should do something about this Mr Secretary General? Shit, yeah, you're right Mr Taggart, lets I don't know, lets make a rule. Yeah, a rule that says only the police, the security core like Belltower, and of course lets not forget to give your private security people Mr Sarif, the right to turn themselves into augmented killing machines."''

Illuminati space station
''Space: the final frontier for you to take it in the rear. These are the voyages of the Space Station Illuminati. It's on followers; the continuing mission to dominate you and your family is on and they're taking the battle to the nether regions. And I'm not talking about your asses. They already got you there. I'm talking about outer space, followers.''

''Four major tech corporations have announced plans to collaborate on a project called "Heaven" which is basically a space station resort paradise that will be floating in our orbit. A paradise that none of you minions will be able to afford surprise, surprise. Another one I've been telling you about for years, folks. Listen, to boldly go where no tyrant has gone before is no groundbreaking notion. The real secret, and what they don't want you to know is that this space station is where they're going to escape to if their plan for domination doesn't work here on Earth. They're gonna hide in orbit and use their spy satellites to control us from ABOVE. Ah, another obstacle for us, the little people, followers. Let me know when you're ready to fight back, ugh that means you too Steve.''

Hengsha
''I want to tell you a bit about Hengsha, in case you were thinking about bringing your families over there for Christmas vacation. I know most of you have never been there so let me try to describe it to you. Picture this beautiful, technological marvel of a city with skyscrapers, and universities and buildings that are basically architectural wonders. A city full of greenery, wealth and glowing-eyes students and professionals walking the sparkling clean streets. Now, lets waltz on over to the elevator, press the lower level button and prepare to enter hell.''

''This is where TYM and the other bloodsucking corporations shove their plant workers after all their ball-busting shifts are over. While the bigwigs in the upper are playing mahjong in their mansions, ordering concubines and eating sushi or whatever they do over there, their workers, or slaves if you will, are living in hotels, and I'm not talking about the Waldorf here, I'm talking about these little rat infested pods about the size of a sardine can. And if crime's your thing, you'll feel right at home in Lower Hengsha, especially if you like to watch hanzers get kidnapped by Triad members and hacked to pieces for their spare parts. Book your vacations now followers. Have fun.''

Super-soldier footage
''I love how everyone is shocked and full of this may at this fuckin' fotage. I mean seriously, followers, it's actually kinda fun to sit in a filthy van in the middle of nowhere with Steve munching on cookies in the corner and watch the fuckin' peasants out there get all bent out of shape over the shocking news that there's an army of super cyborg soldiers doing drills in some covert military facility! Whaat? The military are using technology for the purpose of creating instruments of war and tyranny? Are you kidding me?!''

''Sorry to break it to the gullible little pawns out there, but they've been working on this since Darrow first refined his augmentation scheme. They've been doing it right in front of your face, followers. Look at the security forces like Belltower helping the Aussies crush their little resistance. You know that Belltower patrols the streets of Shanghai and have essentially more power than the police. In fact, every CEO on the planet has a specially augmented security team to protect themselves from people like YOU. Why to you think the prices are so high for enhancements? They don't want you to be on their level. Same old story retold for INFINITY until be fight BACK, followers. Ugh, pass me a cookie Steve.''